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Perpetual Happiness Is A Habit

I get asked a lot about how I stay so positive and motivated all the time, and every conversation in that direction always causes me to pause.

It sounds so cliché, but in all honesty, I don’t ever have to think about whether I want to be happy or not at any given time.

I just am.

This rubs some people the wrong way because they think I’m ridiculing them or I have the idea that somehow things are better for me than they are for them.

Maybe they are, but most likely, we both face similar challenges in our daily routines.

The irritation develops because of projection. They can’t fathom a reality where things are always cheerful because they haven’t experienced it. Their perception, therefore, is that it can’t possibly exist.

I get it. I used to be unhappy a lot. I was depressed, and I was angry at the world.

So, I can relate to anyone who feels that way today…I’ve been there.

Usually, there are so many arguments that people try to create with statements like, “you have no idea what I’m going through,” Or “you just don’t understand the pressure that I’m under”

But I do. And I know it’s real to you. I have no doubt that you can create a tremendous amount of pressure or stress by imagining all kinds of bad scenarios.

And I also know it’s possible to stop imagining all those things and focus on what’s actually going on right now, which most of the time isn’t all that bad. Our imagination is very capable of creating some above-average stuff.

The difference is in how I choose to approach the environment that I must live in every day.

I can be a victim. I can live in pity and despair, or I can accept responsibility for everything that happens around me and figure out how to move past it.

But that’s ludicrous, I’m told, because other people do things that cause me pain and suffering.

No, they don’t.

Other people act in ways that I can let bruise my ego, or I can take offense to, or I can disagree with.

Or I can choose not to feel any of those things.

I can let you cut me off in traffic. I can let you yell at me for your perception of something I did wrong.

I don’t care. Your anger or perception of me has absolutely no bearing on who I am or what my self-worth is.

Move on.

I don’t have to be right. I don’t have to be in front, and I don’t have to be the most important person in the room.

I know there are only three things in my life that I have absolute control over. I learned from Dr. John Demartini that my Perception, my Decisions, and my Actions are 100% up to me.

He makes a great point when he says, “What distinguishes us as human beings from other species is our capacity to govern our mind and not let the outside world run us.”

Every event in our lives is meaningless until we assign an emotion to it. Period.

And no one outside of us can assign any of our emotions to any event either. It’s all on us.

Here is another great tidbit from Dr. Demartini; We also tend to give power to an individual that we’re resentful of – a false attribution that THEY are the cause of our pleasure or pain, happiness, or sadness.

The reality is that it has little to do with them and more to do with our perceptions of them, which we have complete control over.

Once we come to realize this truth, the ability to decide if we want to have a positive, happy day or not is entirely in our control.

It doesn’t mean that life is always fun and exciting. It doesn’t mean that bad things don’t happen to us or that tragedies don’t occur.

Sadness and hurt are very real, but we get to decide every day how much of that we want to continue to carry with us into the future.

And that’s the key to me waking up happy and being positive all the time.


Donovan Larsen

Donovan is a columnist and associate editor at the Dark News. He has written on everything from the politics to diversity issues in the workplace.

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